Seriously?

I don't believe you can call yourself changed until others can recognize the change.

I think it might start with you recognizing something you want to modify in yourself but it doesn't solidify until it can be validated.

Don't go looking unless you're prepared for what you might find right?

What is there to hold on to? Will I ever completely let go?

I don't even want that anymore! It was bad. It was painful. It was pointless.

It broke me. It devalued me. It made me see myself as something less than what I am.

Ah but why try to explain? It wouldn't make a difference.

I love you but...

"it was all a lie"
"you never supported me"
"i'm tired of trying"
"i don't believe i abused you"
"i'm tired of you making me feel like a horrible person"
"i'm tired of being compared"
"if i changed it wouldn't make a difference to you"
"you don't even care what upsets me"

His actions broke me.

The "why" isn't as important as the simple ACKNOWLEDGEMENT that it happened.

OWN IT

Regardless of my own faults and failures, or maybe because of them, I don't know how to make every betrayal, every rejection, every lie not matter any more.

make.it.stop.